Just the other day, I overhead a conversation between two women and it got me thinking seriously. They were talking about caring for their parents and one of them said "I dont joke with my father at all oh! I make sure that I visit him every fortnight despite the distance. Whatever I can do for him, let me do it now when he can appreciate it and pray for me. I will not wait till hes dead to throw a big party just to show the world that I love him. " How wonderful it would have been if everyone thought that way! The common practice these days is for people to throw big parties and spend lots of money on burials for their parents.
Some people go to the extent of borrowing money just to give their parents what they think is a befitting burial even when this goes against the teachings of Islam. The question however is do they spend as much on them when they were alive? When I was a little girl, there was a standard way of greeting my parents in the morning. The greeting always included "Thank you for yesterday sir/ma. May God enrich your purse, may you live long to reap the fruits of your labour, may your pocket never be dry. "As we grew older, we gradually stopped reciting that prayer and brought it up in jest sometimes in the family.
As I sat pondering over the womans statement, I realised how lovely that prayer was and decided to take stock of how well my parents had reaped the fruits of their labour. My father died just as I graduated from the University; I had not even been called up for the National Youth Service. I had no job and depended on him till the day he died. Whenever I think of the fact that I never had the chance to give him a Kobo in return for all he did for me, I am filled with a great sadness. Some of my siblings who were already working at the time at least had the satisfaction of doing that.
My only consolation lies in the fact that I never brought him displeasure or sorrow. I try also to cheer myself up with some of the occasions when I made special treats or meals that he ate, enjoyed and prayed for me. I would never forget the day for instance when I served him a few slices of a cake I had baked myself. Despite the fact that I was an amateur in the act of baking, he ate it and said "thank you my daughter, your own children would also give you pleasing things to eat." I would never forget how happy that prayer made me feel! Alhamdulilah! My mother is alive and well. I try to show my appreciation to her for all the love and care of the years past. I have also learnt that nothing is too small to give to her. The loss of my father taught me that "tomorrow may be too late." The lesson in this for us all is that no matter how young we are, we can shower love on our parents. We do not have to wait till we are rich or important people in the society for our parents to reap the benefits of their toil on us.
There are lots of ways we can care for them and make them happy. That way, even if Allaah wills that they do not live very long, we would be satisfied that we have done the little we can for them. As for those of us who have lost one or both of our parents, they can still reap what they sowed in us through the dua that we make for them. We can also do good deeds not only in their names but for our own sakes as well.
Parents who are alive also deserve our respect, love and care. They deserve that we show to the world how well they have brought us up both in their presence and in their absence. Remember, the sweetness of a fruit is not in its size; it is not just in what comes out of it but what is enjoyed from it. May Allaah make us children who would be the comfort of our parents not just in their old age but at all times. May He (SWT) also give us good children who would benefit us both in this dunya [this world] and in the Akhirah [Hereafter] (Amin)
This article was culled from the publications of Deen Communication Limited