Abu Saeed AI-Khudri was a young companion of the Prophet (salallahu alayhi wa sallam) who reported a large number of hadiths. He lived long after the Prophet (salallahu alayhi wa sallam) and he was received every where with the respect due to one of the Prophets companions who was at the same time a fine scholar.
"One day he was informed of a funeral. Apparently he was delayed and came only when people had already taken their places where the funeral was to start. When he came and people saw him they welcomed him. Some of them stood up to give him their places. He said to them: Do not do that. I heard the Prophet say: The best meeting place is the one most accommodating.He moved aside to sit in a place where there was plenty of room."(Bukhari) One of the most amazing aspects of the Islamic ethics is that it did not leave out a single aspect of human Iife without laying down the laws for it. Among these laws are those guiding human interaction in gatherings whether public or private. It is very important for Muslims to know and use proper etiquette, so that they can strengthen their relations with others. If we follow the proper Islamic etiquette, the gathering will be beneficial and no one will transgress the rights of others.
From these etiquettes are:
Attend Only Beneficial Gatherings
A Muslim is required to join good and beneficial gathering such as gatherings of knowledge and dhikr. Joining the assemblies or circles of dhikr is a commendable practice as shown by the following hadeeth: Ibn Umar (RA) reported, "The Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) said, When you pass by a garden of Paradise, avail yourselves of it. The Companions asked, What are the gardens of Paradise,O Messenger of Allaah?The Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) replied, The assemblies or circles of dhikr. There are some angels of Allaah who go about looking for such assemblies of dhikr, and when they find them they surround them." Muawiyyah (RA) said, "The Prophet (sallallahuﾕ alayhi wa sallam) went out to a circle of his Companions and asked, What makes you sit here?They said, We are sitting here in order to remember Allaah and to praise Him because He guided us to the path of Islam and he conferred favors upon us.Thereupon he adjured them by Allaah and asked if that was the only purpose of their sitting there. They said, By Allaah, we are sitting here for this purpose only. At this the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) said, I am not asking you to take an oath because of any misapprehension against you, but only because Jibreel came to me and informed me that Allah, the Exalted and Glorious, was telling the angels that He isproud of you." (Muslim)
Be as Clean as Possible to Gatherings
Remove Odours From Self and Venue Bad odours and filthwill hurt the people and make them turn away and leave. One may leave a gathering just because of a bad odour like the odour of sweat, unclean bodies, feet, clothes, the odour of cigarette smoke, and the odour of uncooked garlic and onions. The Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) forbade the one that eats uncooked garlic or onions from coming to the Masjid gatherings until his bad odour goes away. When the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) used to smell a bad odour from someone, he used to order him to leave the Masjid and go far away to the cemetery of (AI-Baqi). The Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) said, "Whosoever eats garlic or onions, let him leave us or leave our Masjid gathering." In another narration by Imam Muslim he said, "Whoever eats the onions. or garlic. then let him not get close to our Masjid. because the angels get hurt from what the children ofAdam get hurt from." And in yet another narration reported by Imam Muslim Umar bin Al-Khattab said in his Friday Khutbah, "....You people eat from two plants that I find bad: Onions and garlic. I saw the Prophet, when he found a bad odour from a man in the Masjid, he ordered him to leave for the cemetery. So whoever likes to eat them, let him cook them well"
Give Salam When You Enter and Exit A Meeting/ Gathering
Nowadays, many of us remember to say salam when we enter a room, but we dont do it when we leave. The Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) said in a hasan hadeeth reported by Abu Dawud and Tirmidhi: "If one of you went to a gathering, let him say salam, and if he wanted to leave, let him say salam. The first salam is not more important than the last one."
Make Room in The Gathering for Newcomers
This is especially important when the gathering is crowded. Why is it important to make room for others? If we do not make enough room for a person, then we may give him the message that we do not care for his presence or that he is not welcomed. Allaah says: "O you who believe! When you are told to make room in the assemblies, (spread out and) make room. Allaah will give you (ample) room (from His Mercy) " (Q58[Mujaadalah]:1 I)
Do Not Ask Someone to Give Up His Space for You or for Someone Else
This is a very bad habit. Such conduct provokes hatred and iII will in the hearts of others and betrays a sense of self-assertion and a haughy attitude towards others. The proper conduct is to Also, do not try to grab the seat of a person who leaves his seat for a while. Keep his seat reserved until he returns. The Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) said If someone leaves his spot. then he returned to it. he is better entitled to it." (Muslim) However, if it is known that the person will not return, you are free to take the seat previously occupied by him.
Newcomer Should Sit at the First Place Available
He should not push himself between others so that they would empty a spot for him. He should sit in the first available space or he should sit somewhere at the end or behind. The Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) and the Companions used to apply these manners in their meetings. In a hasan hadith Jabir bin-Samurah (RA) said:Whenever we came to the gathering of the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam), we would sit down at the end of the assembly." (Abu Dawud, Tirmidhi) Do Not Push Yourself To Sit Between Two Others Who Are Sitting Side By Side Without Their Permission Do not separate two persons sitting together in some gathering without seeking their permission They might be sitting together for a particular reason and separation may hurt their feelings. The Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) said in an authentic hadeeth reported by Abu Dawud and Tirmidhi that: "It is not permissible for a person to sit between two people without their permission. "
Do Not Sit In The Middle Of A Circle, While Others Are Sitting Around In A Circle Such behaviour is not only ridiculous, but extremely improper. This, no doubt, will bother the other people sitting around in a circle and it will disrupt the flow of conversation .. Imam Tirmidhi narrated in an authentic hadith, that Hudhayfah (RA) said, "(From the tongue of the prophet Muhammad) Allaah cursed whosoever sits in the middle of an assembly forcibly."
Avoid Sitting at a Place of Distinction in a Gathering
If you pay a visit to somebodys house, dont try to take a seat of distinction, save in case the host himself insists on your taking such a seat. Always sit in the meeting in a respectful manner. Do not spread your feet or stretch your legs. Avoid pointing your feet towards anyone, as it is a sign of disrespect. Do not make a bid to always sit near the person presiding the meeting. Sit wherever you find room, and leave space for those who arrive after you find a please to sit conveniently. In case a greater number of people arrive to attend the meeting, you should try to adjust yourself in a smaller space and generously leave room for the new comers to find a seat.
Follow The Etiquettes Of Conversation In Gatherings
In order to be proper, one should listen to other person who is speaking, and give him ample time to complete his statements without interrupting his speech. You should also refrain from raising your voice more than what is necessary for others to be able to hear. Sometimes it is good for the speaker to repeat some of the ideas that he is conveying to make sure that the listeners understand properly. He can make sure that people understand him properly by using direct language, and by limiting his words to the necessary. We should also choose the best words to convey our ideas, and avoid using hurtful or bad words. And we should be conscious of the type of language that we use so that we will not disrespect or hurt others with our words or actions.
We should remember the importance of respecting the elderly and the scholars, and to be merciful with the young and weak. Mention the name of Allah in all gatherings The Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) said, "No people who leave a gathering without having mentioned Allaah in it, but they leave it like leaving a dead donkey, and it will cause deep grief to them." (Abu Dawud) Two People Should Not Talk Secretively In The Presence Of A Third Person , This behaviour might cause the third person to feel bad or excluded. The Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) said, "If you were three, then do not whisper between the two of you ignoring the third till the number increases. This is because whispering will sadden him." (Bukhari, Muslim)
Remember To Supplication When The Gathering Is Over
The supplication is what the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) said in an authentic hadith reported by Imam Tirmidhi. "SubhaanalIaah wa bihamdihi ashhadu an laa ilaaha iIIaAnta, astagfiruka wa atuubu ilayhi (Glory be to Allaah, praise be to Him. I testify that none has the right to be worshipped but You; I ask Your pardon and to You in repentance." If they say that, Allaah will forgive them for all the wrongdoings that may have happened during the gathering."
Concluded
This article was culled from the publications of Deen Communication Limited