It is a thing of joy observing your child showing all the trappings of a righteous human being - religious, obedient, cultured and very brilliant at school. Conversely, the trauma of watching a child's behaviour getting worse inspite of all corrective measures could be indescribable sometimes. A woman complained bitterly about how her ten year old boy has taken to the secret habit (masturbation), Frankly speaking, however, the family is often equally responsible for the children taking to sin and bad behaviour; because they do not urge children to worship Allaah and they make available the means of falling into sin.
While it may not be possible to Make specific judgment about the reasons a particular child misbehaves, nevertheless, it may be that the circurnstances surrounding this boy have made him fall into sin. He is an only child, or only boy, and thus, he is spoiled, which makes the means of falling into sin readily available.
This problem may be dealt with in a number of ways:
Don't Spoil Him
Reduce the extent to which he is spoilt, because spoiling him makes him feel that he is not a man, so, he tries to prove that he is a man by means of bad habits like smoking, for example This is not the same thing as denying him love and care nor is it being cruel and harsh. Rather, it is about correcting him when he errors and not indulging him. It is about not falling heels over head to fulfil his every flimsy requests.
Remove Bad Influences
Don't make the means of falling into sin available, especially those which contribute to deadening of the heart, such as giving him music tapes to listen to and providing satellite channels for him to watch.
Don't Let Him Sleep Alone
Try not to let the child sleep alone or close the door when he is asleep, because being alone makes it easy to think about sin and encourages one to do it.
Attach Him To The Mosque
Make the child feel attached to the mosque and its study circles, and to righteous friends. These are the greatest means of helping a person to correct, his ways and strengthen his faith.
Provide Islamic Alternatives
Providing a useful Islamic audiovisual library, which will create in him a love for worship, teach him good manners and deter him from falling into sin.
Encourage Him To Read
Encourage him to read, especially books that have to do with biographies of the scholars and heroic mujaahideen. Perhaps he will acquire some of their attributes and follow in their footsteps. It is better to encourage him to write a summary of what he reads, hears and watches, and to give him a suitable reward for that.
Make Him Memorise the Qur'an
Encourage him to memorize Qur'aan and fast; undoubtedly these will strengthen him spiritually.
Organise His Time
Try to organize his time so that he will be active during the day and will sleep early, because staying up late may make him think at length about sin.
Tell Him The Shariah Position on His Sins
Explain to him the shar'i ruling on this habit and its effect on the mind, heart and faculties.
Don't Humiliate Him
Avoid humiliating him, hitting him and embarrassing him, because hitting him, humiliating him and embarrassing him will not make him give up this sin and others Iike it, rather you should deal with him in the way that is best and by giving him good advice.
This article was culled from the publications of Deen Communication Limited