Imam al-Ghazali (d. 505) mentions in his famous work - The Revival of the Religious Sciences that scholars have mentioned many blessings of intimacy, such as protecting ones chastity and increasing ones progeny. But he also mentions a blessing that might surprise many Muslims. One of the blessings of intimacy that our scholars have mentioned, al-Ghazali says, is to experience some of the pleasures of the afterlife. He continues: "And I swear, what they have said is absolutely true! For indeed, in this pleasure [of sex] a pleasure that cannot be compared to any other pleasure - if only it were to persist, it would indeed be a sign or signal for those pleasures of the next life that have been promised to us.
To entice someone regarding a pleasure that he has never experienced is of no use! If an impotent man were to be enticed with sex, or a young child with power, there would be no temptation. Therefore, one of the blessings of the sexual experience and pleasure in this world is the hope of its perpetual existence in the next, so that this can be used as a motivation for the worship of Allah. "Marvel, therefore, at the wisdom of Allah, and His Mercy, for look at how He has placed in one desire two lives: an external life, and an internal life. So the external life is the preservation of a man through his progeny and children. And the internal life is the life of the next world.
For the pleasure of sex is diminished in this world because it must remain temporary, and is swiftly terminated, but by experiencing it, ones desire to have such a pleasure remain everlasting becomes firm, and this encourages one to persist in deeds of worship that would allow him to experience such pleasures." An amazing quote from an amazing scholar! It is very difficult to improve one’s conjugal experiences without reading up or otherwise learning about better techniques. Yet, at the same time, not only is this highly uncomfortable for many Muslims (for we are encouraged to be shy and modest), there is the added problem that most if not all such material present in our times would contain pornographic images and graphic text, and thus be out of our (hala) reach. When we turn to our own classical works, we find that sexual conduct has been mentioned in numerous books.
Every single work of fiqh has chapters related to sex. Every explanation of hadith, every tafsir of the Quraan, must by its very nature deal with matters pertaining to sexuality. Additionally, throughout our own fourteen centuries of tradition and history, there have been many books written to help couples find more meaningful relationships and increase sexual pleasure within marriage. These works are many times quite explicit, but hardly ever crude or vulgar. And I believe that we can learn much from their language and style.
This article was culled from the publications of Deen Communication Limited