Another flaw of the human psyche which is evident in some Muslims is self-contempt or defeatism. In the Islamic terminology, it means negatively belittling one's worth, humiliating oneself, submitting to the dictates of one's basal desires and other real enemies.
How Does One Know He Is A Self-defeatist?
Self-contempt or defeatism can be identified by the following:
Ceasing To Make Effort For The Religion Of Allaah
The one who is self defeatist finds it herculean to call to the way of Allaah, order the good, forbid evil, and fight blasphemous people and hypocrites who impede others from the way of Allaah, alleging that evil has spread, forbidden actions have grown, and whatever-we do is pointless, and we will reap nothing but fatigue..
Living Life in Isolation
A self-defeatist does not only isolate himself from his society, but may also migrate to remote and far flung "areas to" avoid mixing with the people relying as a pretext, on the hadeeth of the Prophet (salallahu alayhi wa sallam) which reads,
"There will come a time when the best property_of a man will be sheep which he will graze on the tops of mountains and the places where rainfalls (i.e. postures) escaping to protect his religion from afflictions." (Bukhari)
Avoiding Responsibilities
Refusing any significant responsibilities, even those related to a simple matter, claiming that he is ignorant of those duties and self responsibilities and his inability to fulfill their requirements.
The Islamic Perspective
Self-contempt in the sense of underestimating oneself is a repulsive distortion of man's sacred and important role. Allaah, the AII Wise, has prohibited such self- depreciation. He says:
"Be not weary and faint-hearted, crying for peace, when you are the uppermost: for Allaah is with you, and will never put you in loss for your good deeds." (Q[Muhammad]:35)
The Prophet (salallahu alayhi wa sallam) also said,
"Nobody from among you should ever be contemptuous of himself"
They asked him, 'How can anyone of us be contemptuous of himself?' He said:
One witnesses a situation about which he is commanded by Allah to talk (and explain Allah's ruling concerning it) and abstains from talking. On the Day of Judgement, Allaah, the Most Supreme, would ask him, 'What hindered you from talking about so and so? Then the one replies, 'Fearingpeople. Then He (Allaah) says, "You should have feared Me." (Ibn Majah)
There are clear indications in the sunnah that one is even allowed to let his worth be known to others without an intention of arrogance and showoff. The Prophet (salallahu alayhi wa sallam) praised himself saying:
"By Allaah, I am the most submissive to Allaah and the most afraid of Him ..." (Muslim)
"I will be the chief(i.e. the best) of all people on the Day of Resurrection. "(Muslim)
lbn Mas'ud (RA), with self- confidence and appreciation said:
"By Allaah other than whom none has the right to be worshipped! There is no Surah revealed in Allaah's Book, but I know where it was revealed and no Ayah revealed in Allaah's Book but I know about whom it was revealed. And if I know that there is somebody who knows Allaah's Book better than I, and he is at a place that camels can reach, I would go to him." (Bukhari)
However self contempt or defeatism before the Grace and Majesty of Allaah is desired and praiseworthy this is the modesty which is praised by Allaah.
Causes of Self Defeatism
There are many reasons and motives which lead to self-contempt or defeatism, the most important of which are:
Negligence In Taking On Responsibility
Failure to encourage oneself to bear responsibilities may be one of the reasons that lead to this evil flaw. This encouragement makes man self-confident while in avoiding the responsibility the baser self of man incites him to hopelessness and evil, letting him believe that he is good for nothing. Thereby he loses his self-confidence, scorns himself and sinks into self-defeatism.
It is important to note that, by responsibility we do not mean leadership but the concern to take care of oneself; his body, soul, mind, morals, calling others to goodness and dissuading them from forbidden actions.
History has revealed to us that our pious predecessors rose to the peak of glory, distinction and self-confidence from their habit of taking on responsibility from their earliest youth. Islam succeeded in transforming this habit into a convention and finally away of life.
Constant Belittling Of Others
When a person is exposed to continual put-downs and humiliation and finds that none of his actions are acceptable, he will obviously be adversely affected especially if he is still young and lmpressionable. Moreover if he comes under the effect of negative criticism when holding responsibility for the first time, the consequences will be frustration, self-contempt and defeatism.
Allaah says,
"O you who believe! Let not some men among you laugh at others it may be that the (latter) are better than the (former): nor let some women laugh at others: it may be that the (latter) are better than the (former);' nor defame nor be sarcastic to each other, nor call each other by (offensive nicknames): ill-seeming is a name connoting wickedness, (to be used of one) after he has believed." (Q49 [Hujurat]: 11)
The Prophet (salallahu alayhi wa sallam) also said,
"A Muslim is the brother of a Muslim. He neither oppresses him nor humiliates him nor looks down upon him. Piety is here, (and while saying so) he pointed towards his chest thrice.'" (Ahmad)
Misinterpretation of Islam
There are Muslim groups who consider extreme debasement of oneself a spiritual achievement. When a person is submerge in this kind of environment, he may be afflicted with self-contempt and defeatism. This is because the individual is very sensitive to environment and exposure to it would overcome him.
Persistent Failure to Meet One's Objectives
When a person continually fails to meet his objectives, it may eventually affect his self-worth and confidence.
Suppression, Tyranny And Compulsion
Suppression, tyranny and compulsion are further reasons which cause self-contempt and defeatism. If one is hindered' to express what he thinks' and feels, it becomes a kind of compulsion and tyranny. If this state .remains with no relaxation, one will be affected by desperation, despondency, frustration, self-contempt and defeatism.
Lack Of Reliance And Trust In Allaah
Allaah is All-Perfect and full of Majesty and nothing gets done except what He allows and nothing can disable whom Allah has enabled. When a person thinks himself alone and distrusts that Allaah will help him if he calls upon Him, such a person becomes defeatist.
Failing To Realize The Blessings Of Allaah In One's Self
Allaah has given us countless favours and blessings that cannot be recorded: Hearing, sight, heart, straightness of stature, hands, legs, tongue, lips and so many inner organs; that no one knows but He Himself. Also He blessed us with values and qualities which are specific to each person. The one who does not realize the blessings of Allaah in him develops a defeatist attitude .:
Remedy
Keeping in mind the causes of selfcontempt and defeatism that have been presented, the following offers the cure for it and protection against it:
Occupy your spare times with all that is good and useful. This was the way of the Prophet (salallahu alayhi wa sallam) not to let any of his followers remain redundant. He wanted people to do the work that suited their effort and ability. In this way he protected them from selfcontempt or defeatism.
Avoid belittling others or despising them as much as possible.
Leave any environment and group that is known for negative selfcontempt and defeatism and taking part in a society which is known for strength, courage, and their trust in Allaah.
Confront those who/what weakens you. There must be continuous, serious and perfect work in order to avoid failure and disappointment, and on the other side to confront your weak points.
Give people their right to express their opinions. Do not boo a person however silly his ideas may seem to you, when he has bright ones, he may be too cowed to let you know.
Appreciate the blessings of Allaah in you and discover your own strong points. Work on your strength while putting your trust in Allaah.
Bevery cautious of minor and major, hidden and apparent sins and errors while you are constantly keen to ask. for forgiveness whenever you commit a sin. This really helps to purify the soul and give it power and strength.
This article was culled from the publications of Deen Communication Limited